


Infatuation

by Rose_Lattes



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post Ep. 46, its a lil moody but i had to get it out, no spoilers really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 03:16:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17459576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_Lattes/pseuds/Rose_Lattes
Summary: Jester doesn't know how she feels about Caleb.She just wants to keep him smiling.





	Infatuation

Jester knew what he thought of her. After Fjord, she learned not to get her hopes up with boys. But the way that the ragged wizard took the time to entertain her extravagant outbursts and the way he checked in on her every now and then filled her with happiness. He spoke to her with thoughtful words, and Jester was incredibly starved for meaningful interactions.

The tiefling rolled onto her back and the pillow-like mattress suppressed with her weight. She sprawled her arms across the satin sheets like she did when she was a child. But this time, she didn’t intend to make ‘snow angels’. She stared at the overly ornate ceiling of the Lavish Chateau. With a deep, heart-shaking sigh, she closed her eyes.

Caleb was simply being nice, just like Fjord was. Her chest burned at the thought of the Half-Orc and the slight tingle of embarrassment, an uncommon feeling for the girl, danced across her skin, bringing a darker shade of purple with it. Caleb surely didn’t know that his cautious prying was about to make her crumble, but she would be lying to herself if she said she wanted him to stop.

The need for an infinite amount of attention was born from her less than normal childhood. It wasn’t as if her mother neglected her, Marion gave her everything and more. But she was simply starved of affection. That’s why the human’s prodding questions meant so much to her.

But it didn’t explain why his smiles, so rare in the Mighty Nein’s company, made her heart flutter. She wanted to make him smile, she realized. Her feelings didn’t need to be refined any further, she didn’t need the shame of rejection again. As long as she kept him smiling throughout their adventures, she would be content. Her lips turned up, and her skin crinkled softly beneath her eyes. She could do that for him; he deserved that much.

From there on she set forth with her new mission, a game she was more than willing to play. She counted his smiles, more valuable than gold, and made sure to dash tally marks in her journal. Weeks passed by as they explored the areas around Zadash. She caught him off guard for most of her points, with quick antics and silly pranks that broke his somber attitude.

In one instance she picked a bundle of wildflowers, each one a different species. She handed them out to the members of the Mighty Nein, making sure Caleb got the prettiest one. She handed him a red petalled floret, her fingers skimming his semi-gloved hand, before dashing away to distribute the rest. Caleb stayed frozen where he sat in their cart. He gently cradled the flower in the bed of his palm and Jester almost missed it, but a soft, carefree smile lifted his eyes. It was one of her prouder tally marks.

Once they were back in town, Fjord needed to check how the ship was going. Beau and Cad followed him to the port, leaving Jester, Nott, and Caleb to their own devices. They wandered around the town, wasting time and found themselves at the center of town. A shallow fountain stood as decoration and Caleb took a seat at its ledge, resting his legs from the days’ travels.

Nott expressed her hunger and scurried away to a nearby food stand. Jester clasped her hands behind her back and turned to Caleb. In the short time that she looked away, the man had pulled out one of his books. The tiefling leaned to the side and scurried up to him. “What are you reading?” she asked.

“The History of the Known Islands,” he said, glancing from the page up to her vibrant eyes. “It’s very dry, but I’m learning quite a bit.”

“You’re always learning, aren’t you?” Jester asked. Admiration bled into her tone. She tried to bite it back, but it was like taming a fire.

“Why of course,” he tapped his temple and gave her a sly look, “need all of it I can get.”

Children ran up to the fountain. They playfully tossed pieces of copper into the water, and their friendly chatter turned into an aggressive playfulness. They began to chase each other around the fountain. Jester smiled at them while rocking on her heels. She admired Caleb’s hair. His auburn locks shined crimson under the midday sun. She lost sight of the kids, fully focused on the human before her. Oblivious, he returned to his book. His eyes skimmed the words at a rapid pace, and Jester found herself in a state of juvenile awe.

She flexed her calf muscles by balancing on her toes. She scanned the shops lacing the stone streets, searching for Nott. The children, in their oblivious youth, ran into her. The pressure of the small bodies was enough to throw her off her balance. A gasp escaped her, but she couldn’t catch herself before she collided with the seated wizard.

They fell into the fountain. The crisp water assaulted Jester’s senses, and she sputtered, quickly rolling off of Caleb. She wiped her hair out of her face and propped herself up on her hands. “Are you okay?” she asked.

Caleb, soggy and still trying to get his bearings, scanned the fountain floor. Jester followed his train of thought and helped him search. With delicate fingers, she picked the book up out of the water. With heavy pages and soaked leather, the book was less than readable; it was trashed. A thick concoction of shame and fear washed over her. “Caleb, I’m sorry. I can buy you another one,” she quickly said.

To her surprise, upon seeing the book, Caleb laughed. It was short and gruff, but it relaxed her none the less. He smiled and cocked his head. “I didn’t want to finish that anyway.”

Jester laughed with him and eventually helped him out of the fountain. He took his overcoat off and laid it to dry on the sidewalk. The pesky children were nowhere to be seen, but Jester wasn’t sure that she had it in her to scold them. When Nott returned, appalled by their soggy appearances, Caleb and Jester simply shared a look of bridled happiness.

Jester decided to put two marks down that night.

Once when Caleb and Jester stayed up to keep watch, they huddled near the fire. Jester told stories of her childhood. Caleb asked about how she met the Traveler, and she was more than happy to explain. They spent the night deep in Jester’s happiest memories. The tiefling stared at the flickering flames, and a gentle smile lifted her face.

If Caleb hadn’t had lightly sighed, she wouldn’t have looked over to him. She wouldn’t have seen his soft eyes and the slight curve of his lips. He showed her the softest expression she’d ever seen on him.

It made her want to cry.

As the game continued she realized it was getting both easier and harder. She found it easier to make Caleb smile, but harder to control her own heart. It's as if she set herself up to fail. She swallowed the intricate feelings blossoming from the stem of infatuation because at the end of the day it wasn’t really about her. 

She might not know exactly what Caleb thought of her, but she realized that she didn’t need to know. Every night she was able to sleep with the thought of getting up the next day to bring the troubled man joy. And for now, that was enough.


End file.
